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Eyeballs

16 Jul

EyJust a short review today, as there isn’t that much to say about this type of book. Due my unpredictability, this 300th post is not the high drama one I’m sure you all anticipated…that will be the 400th one where I will attempt something unexpected and probably embarrassing.

Some people excel with language and thought, some leave you flabbergasted and that is why we can be thankful for books like this that disconcert and amuse in equal measures.

Those self-sacrificing readers of Private Eye magazine never miss an opportunity to send in contributions (especially when a small fee could be involved) that will amuse. Published within are a selection from a couple established columns and a smattering of never before published examples.

What the reader gets is a light-hearted read, well more of a book to dip into really, something for the coffee table and to amuse friends in a more placid moment of whatever it is you happen to be doing.

Dumb Britain is a column that has been running since 1997 and showcases the worrying extent of some people’s grasp on knowledge and common sense guesses when taking part in quiz shows.  Commentatorballs highlights the humorous slips of the tongue on live TV and Radio by newsreaders, sports personalities and Politicians etc.

Sometimes the Dumb Britain entries can seem a little too sneery and I agree with that to a certain extent but that is possibly because the compilers and the audience are perhaps more educated.  This is a minor point though as there are many examples of the surreal in some of the answers given.

Nevertheless it is good for a giggle or a dumbfounded headshake and no doubt this brief selection of randomly picked snippets will give you the idea of what you get for your money.

The hypothalamus is part of which organ?  The pipes?

Which way does the profile of the Queen always face on a coin?  Is it north?

In America, what liquid normally comes out of a faucet?  Cheese

Cracks begin to appear when rival publications began to show much more explicit photos – Radio 4

If my gran had had cojones, she’d have been my uncle – Stan Collymore

A cliché to me is like a red rag to a bull – Pat Nevin

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41 Comments

Posted by on 16/07/2014 in Humour

 

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41 responses to “Eyeballs

  1. Morgan

    16/07/2014 at 18:12

    Ok this looks like a great coffee table conversation piece. I will have to run right out and order it on amazon 😉 I particularly like the Private Eye joke 😉

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  2. Morgan

    16/07/2014 at 18:13

    OH and Mon’ congrats! on the Milestone 🙂 Here’s to 300 or so more 🙂

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    • Ste J

      16/07/2014 at 18:16

      There are some sublimely ridiculous entries into the book and lots of odd famous British people to learn all about, if you were so inclined. The 300th crept on me, I had big plans for this years entry (which I decided on straight after post 200) but with no time to prepare now, I shall have to bide my time for the next milestone and it will be epic!

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      • Morgan

        16/07/2014 at 18:29

        You can say you are just gathering Momentum for the lager-fest thats owed you. 🙂

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        • Ste J

          16/07/2014 at 18:31

          I’m more of a bitter man these days…bitter as in the drink, I hasten to add!

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          • Morgan

            16/07/2014 at 19:20

            I am very glad you clarified. Though, I am unsure what the difference is (between lager and bitter, that is) Im more of a Baileys person, myself. 😉

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            • Ste J

              16/07/2014 at 19:53

              It’s all down to the how they do stuff with the yeast and other technical stuff I can’t be bothered to fathom…lagers are more carbonised than ales and tend to come in lower percentages, I can nurse a mint of botter for an hour and a half without variation in taste, lagers tend to go flat within twenty minutes and I find them undrinkable after half an hour.

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              • Morgan

                16/07/2014 at 20:05

                AH!! This may be why, though I tend to not like beer (or any malt beverage, more or less) I can, perhaps irrationally, enjoy a Guinness….or at the very least, drink it, though having said as much I must also confess that the Guinness in question came after about 1/2 gallon (yes, really) of Alien Secretion (more recently coined Liquid Marijuana). though I don’t honestly know why Im telling you any of this, really. LOL

                Can I blame it on the 3pm Blahs?

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                • Ste J

                  16/07/2014 at 20:12

                  I always forget about the time differences, you think i would have learnt by now.

                  Alien Secretion, what a great name and what an epic amount to drink! Guinness always tastes better after other drinks in my opinion.

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                  • Morgan

                    16/07/2014 at 20:20

                    It being a bright, glow-in-the-dark green, its fitting. It was Epic for any time, but fitting, since it was St Patrick’s Day LOL 🙂

                    Yes, I do believe there are a few hours in between us.

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      • thejerseygal®™

        18/08/2014 at 01:06

        Ok the book looks funny, but this milestone thing…post a video review….but of your all time fav book. Or make a sock puppet and have it give the review.

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        • Ste J

          18/08/2014 at 16:35

          I am planning a vlog or two in the near future, sock puppets are actually a good idea…..

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  3. Al

    16/07/2014 at 18:34

    I have always been amused at the way Private Eye looks at things.

    Congratulations on reaching 300

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    • Ste J

      16/07/2014 at 18:37

      I enjoyed the issue when Kate had her baby, it was a blank cover with the writing Woman has Baby scrawled across it lol. I did my 200th on November 5th last year so things are speeding up…mainly thanks to all those Who posts I was reeling off…next time I will plan a whole week of celebrations if I can be bothered or that egotistical hehe.

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      • Al

        16/07/2014 at 20:06

        My next stepping stone is 2500. Unless I have passed that one in which case it will be 3000. I mean to do something at some posts and then forget. Yeah, there were a few posts in November last year 🙂

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        • Ste J

          16/07/2014 at 20:08

          That is a prodigious amount of posting! I look forward to your milestone posts, ooo do a post whilst bungee jumping!

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          • Al

            16/07/2014 at 20:18

            Haha it may just fix my back. Well, it will do one way or the other, and knowing my luck, it will be the other

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  4. Seyi sandra

    16/07/2014 at 20:11

    Wow old friend! Congratulations on your 300th post, that’s a huge feat! I mean, three hundred! That’s so cool, as my son would say! I’ll hasten to my wine cellar and pop one and drink on your behalf!

    This book is certainly one to enrich and make one smile. I made up my mind to peg down all the books you review, apart from the ones you sent me. I know I would read them all in my lifetime!

    Cheers mate! 🙂

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    • Ste J

      16/07/2014 at 20:21

      Wine cellar, how classy, pick something of a good vintage, you know the ones with dust on them. I never imagined 300 but these days I can quite happily predict 500!

      I shall keep he books coming, I shall keep varying the books and piling on the load, sorry about that! I think you know me well enough by now to sift through my reviews and choose the ones you know I really love.

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      • Seyi sandra

        16/07/2014 at 20:49

        I really do know you well my friend! Keep ’em coming, I’ll sift through but I’m quiet greedy about books. After all, knowledge is inexhaustible!

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  5. Lyn

    16/07/2014 at 22:09

    Way to go Ste, 300 posts — that’s impressive. I love quiz shows. Two of my favourites are Eggheads and The Chase — especially The Chase you never fail to get a giggle out of that show.

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    • Ste J

      17/07/2014 at 17:41

      I do enjoy Eggheads and do profess a mild addiction to Pointless as well. I just get annoyed at all the repeating of the rules, any first time viewer can pick up the game in no time.

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  6. gargoylebruce

    16/07/2014 at 23:45

    That first one was on the Chase – I saw that actual episode just a few days ago and laughed my guts out! This sounds like the book for me. And I suspect that cheese does run out of some American taps. It comes in a can there after all, so it’s not such a stretch to imagine the former.

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    • Ste J

      17/07/2014 at 17:49

      I am bewildered by some of the inventions that the colonials across the pond come up with. The human mind is a scary place to dwell.

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  7. LuAnn

    17/07/2014 at 13:19

    I find myself wanting to read most everything you review, if for no other reason that to feel I learn a bit more about life, be more well-rounded (or quirky perhaps), and get into that head of yours a bit more. Congrats on the 300th post! 🙂

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    • Ste J

      17/07/2014 at 17:51

      My head is probably best described as ‘wibbly’ so bring your wellies should you wish to enter. I thought a light book might be a nice change from the more literary types I have been reading of late. It’s always great to learn about life and reading some of the bits in this book, to feel a little superior in knowledge.

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  8. Letizia

    17/07/2014 at 15:20

    What crazy covers, haha! Congrats on 300 posts – looking forward to 300 more!

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    • Ste J

      17/07/2014 at 17:43

      With your company I am sure they will be a blast. Luckily I avoided the idea of doing a vlog spoofing the film 300 because nobody deserves to see me oiled up, ha!

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      • Letizia

        17/07/2014 at 17:54

        of course, I now really want to see you oiled up in the 300 look!!

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        • Ste J

          17/07/2014 at 18:00

          Perhaps that will be epic post 400…I shall start stockpiling the oil and embarrassment in readiness.

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  9. Christina ~

    18/07/2014 at 06:04

    It is indeed always fascinating when politics or any news for that matter can be written in such a way to not only be entertaining, but humorous as well…which makes being informed all the more more desirable…or so I would imagine. ~ Congratulations on the 300 posts! I’m sure you will do something most memorable for your 400th…

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    • Ste J

      19/07/2014 at 19:11

      I am sure you will suitably inspire me for my 400th! When the news is put under such satirical scrutiny then it does make for a more informed read and does tend to stick in the mind a lot more. In fact I will probably pick up next fortnight’s copy…so expect me to be very mirthful.

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  10. Sherri

    18/07/2014 at 13:20

    Happy 300th post Ste, that’s a wonderful achievement! And thanks for the great ideas I keep finding over here for my Christmas pressie-giving list..and I apologise for saying that…pretend I didn’t mention it, it being only July and all…but you know what I mean… 😉

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    • Ste J

      19/07/2014 at 19:25

      It’s only 23 weeks until Christmas Day now, let the excitement start now. I’m glad to keep supplying the ideas, I will be adding more to make sure you have a wealth of gifts for everybody because I’m nice like that.

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      • Sherri

        21/07/2014 at 14:11

        AAAAAAAAAAaghhhhhh…….I’m panicking already!! 😀

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  11. readinpleasure

    18/07/2014 at 19:04

    Congrats dear Ste J. 🙂 Are those real? 🙂

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    • Ste J

      19/07/2014 at 18:58

      It’s a massive milestone for me and I shall hopefully be around for at least another 300. Those are indeed all real, as crazy as that is.

      Like

       

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