Night of the Crabs / Crabs’ Moon: Night of the Crabs 2 – Guy N Smith

16 Oct

Big ‘uns. Bigger’n sheep. Big as cows

When an author has such works as Thirst 2: The Plague, The Slime Beast, Abomination, The Festering and Cannibals to his name, you know you are either in for a treat. Or not.

Guy N. Smith is a hugely prolific writer of many genres, but he is most famous for his Crabs series of seven novels, of which I am the happy owner of four. He is also partly the inspiration for the excellent comedy show Garth Merenghi’s Darkplace.

Pulp horror is great. There is no getting away from it, Like a B-movie both these books have everything you need. Not just the trashy horror but the cheesiness and the instant likeability, especially when giant crabs are storming around causing chaos.

These two books are a telling of events on two different, albeit close parts of the Welsh coast from whence some cunning crustaceans get into some fast paced not to mention gory rampant killing action and the combined stories overlap just enough without getting to repetitive.

So what is the actual plot, I pretend I hear you ask, well the book covers tend to give it away.  For those of you not instantly turned off by the blatant selling of what can only be described as an unlikely scenario should know that this is quite a layered book, there are ideas about capitalism, wildlife, the nature of the unknown, a range of human emotions are explored as well. Or perhaps I am just reading between the lines a tad to much.

So overall I can narrow the good points, for there really are no bad points in this kind of literature, to four…

  • Violence – This is what we have brought the book for, and it delivers with hideous aplomb, there are limbs rendered asunder, explosions, bloody gore everywhere and other various high octane adrenaline bits of excitement. These are also some mean and crafty crustaceans.
  • The Writing – There is a lot to be said for the writing, it is so many things from awkward to unintentionally hilarious to downright (gloriously) unpolitically correct, sometimes just plain odd. interestingly though it does give a sense of dislocation from real events to strange happenings, a sense of unreality to proceedings.
  • The Characters – The characters have delightfully obscure names and not a lot else of a redeeming nature. In fact most of the characters are either dull, annoying or just being written in to be slaughtered. There is an abundance of dramatic lines that are delightfully over the top,
  • Sex – Essentially there is a lot of soft core porn type writing to be had here, especially in Crabs’ Moon, in fact in both books the characters seem more interested in having sex than doing anything about the evil menace lurking.  How best to judge the spirit in which the book and the series is written is epitomised when a couple are in a steamy lovemaking clinch one of our heroic protagonists uses the hilarious double entendre:

Nothing mattered now, not even the giant crabs.


Posted by on 16/10/2012 in Horror


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19 responses to “Night of the Crabs / Crabs’ Moon: Night of the Crabs 2 – Guy N Smith

  1. letizia

    16/10/2012 at 19:27

    I love the covers! I’ve never read pulp fiction but love your description of it. I think it would be great fun to read aloud at a dinner party 🙂 Either way, I’m very tempted to take the plunge and explore this new world!


    • StetotheJ

      17/10/2012 at 07:39

      You will either get good pulp or bad pulp, but the bad can be just as fun as the decent stuff, definitely a fantastic idea for dinner parties, that is a fantastic idea. After a gruelling read these books always take the edge off, fun, cheesy and short, everything you need really.


  2. LuAnn

    16/10/2012 at 23:31

    Sounds like my kind of book! 🙂


    • StetotheJ

      17/10/2012 at 07:41

      Well happily for you, this guy is prolific, he has written loads of books so maybe you shall see some floating about. They are always great to chill out with.


  3. Cory John Eadson

    17/10/2012 at 00:32

    Smashing review, well-executed. Appeptite suitably whet. And what covers they are too! A great summary there. More, more!


    • StetotheJ

      17/10/2012 at 07:44

      Aha! You’re comments are working I see, thanks as ever for the radio shoutout, although I was shamelessly plugging for it. I shall be doing some more horror, as I hear you are a ‘bit of a fan’ soon. I realised I really was being very fair to all the genres I profess to cover.


  4. Claire 'Word by Word'

    17/10/2012 at 11:46

    Ok, right. Next 🙂


    • StetotheJ

      17/10/2012 at 18:41

      Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried them, you may get a love for seaside limb tearage!


      • Claire 'Word by Word'

        17/10/2012 at 18:44

        I was trying to comment and was lost for words. Covers too scary for this wimpish reader.


        • StetotheJ

          17/10/2012 at 18:50

          Haha, it’s a bit like watching the news, lots of pointless awful things happening but it doesn’t feature the cute puppy at the end which is supposed to make us forget all the bad things that happen in the world. Or maybe I’m just a cynic.


          • Claire 'Word by Word'

            17/10/2012 at 18:51

            At least with TV I can turn off the music or close my minds, but let the imagination go wild in a book of scary stuff, not on your nonna. 🙂


            • StetotheJ

              17/10/2012 at 18:55

              Of course that is a fair point, those anthropods do cause terror once fully formed in the mind. I found some of The Famous Five stuff pretty harrowing so there’s some warning for you just in case….


              • Claire 'Word by Word'

                17/10/2012 at 18:58

                It was Dr Who for me, total far out scary! Famous 5, Secret 7 & Nancy Drew were perfect for a farm girl.


                • StetotheJ

                  17/10/2012 at 19:01

                  Dr Who never ceases to be scary, I’m in the midst of watching a few ranging from the 70’s-90’s, however the sepcial effects have dated they are still chilling. I never read Nancy Drew, although I am aware of the name. Blyton’s Adventure stories were pretty good too, especially The Valley of Adventure, that had a totally different feel to her usual work, whilst retaining all her trademarks, caves and wildlife and such like.


  5. pennycoho

    22/10/2012 at 07:24

    Yes very pulpish! To languish in the pulp of it all. That works! Actually I love the stuff! Reality can be overrated, upon occasion! 🙂


    • StetotheJ

      22/10/2012 at 17:25

      Exactly and all that proper literature, with its nuances and subtext and all that is great but sometimes i want strangely written flights of fancy, happily I have two more crabs books left and also The Big Book of Pulp, all the best crime pulp stories of the 20’s 30’s and 40’s. Happy days are a-coming.


  6. readinpleasure

    14/11/2012 at 16:56

    A fine review, StetothJ, but certainly not my type of book.


    • StetotheJ

      14/11/2012 at 20:56

      Aha thank you, it is an acquired taste I quite agree. I like to keep things eclectic though.



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