Crabs: The Human Sacrifice – Guy N. Smith

28 Oct

Crab HoThe Girls Listened Intently. The wetlands were silver and shadow in the moonlight. The salt marsh grasses rustled. Out on the mudflats, curlews called mournfully. The Girl Shivered. The incoming tide trickled and lapped up hidden creeks. Soon the wildfowl would be winging down, the waders feeding and squabbling at the water’s edge. The Girl Struggled. Despairingly, she pulled at the ropes that held her, naked and spreadeagled, a human sacrifice for the Crabs. Huge, eaten away by the mutating disease that doomed them, they were returning, dragging themselves out of the water, intent only on tearing apart and devouring their enemy: Man.

Once again it is time to indulge in one of my favourite guilty pleasures.  In amongst all the literary fare that I love, there is always room for giant angry crabs intent on destroying humanity.

The plot is a dual drama this time, not only are the crabs intent on doing harm and rending people limb from limb, this time there is a sinister cult at work leaving human sacrifices in praise of their crab Gods.

It is a flimsy plot but nonetheless fun if you don’t mind a little bit of gratuity in your story.  I have used the term ‘B-Lit’ for these stories before, they work in much the same way as a B-Movie does.  Featuring ridiculously over the top violence, excruciatingly bad sex scenes and cheesy dialogue that raises a smile from time to time.

This time though the extra threat of a sadistic crab worshipping cult as well as he titular terrors things are even more deadly although the body count feels more focused which is interesting.  The crabs are reduced to some extent as the main enemy but this isn’t a bad thing after the carnage of earlier books it would have been a little too similar, besides a group of people with warped ideals is a lot more chilling than rampaging crustaceans.

Britain has historically repelled (or not) many invaders from the sea and the malevolent nature of the Crabs though has evolved to become more devious, this new danger is coupled with the warped and flawed thoughts of psychotic Pete Merrick.   An unhinged eco warrior, genuinely evil who hurts for his own sadistic pleasure and skewed beliefs, thus adding another layer of threat and drives the plot along.

As with the other books in the series, there are a few recaps of previous events which is helpful, especially if like me you have missed some of the books out.  I am hoping one day to complete my collection, most notably with Killer Crabs and Crabs on the Rampage which if nothing else are brilliant titles to come across on any book shelf and will make even the most resistant of readers show an interest.

whilst the violence can get a little repetitive, it is a good palette cleanser and good mindless fun with some cheesy writing, which makes me feel (hope) that the authors tongue was firmly in cheek when penning these books.  Extra marks must go to the wonderful monologue about nature towards the end which made all previous minor gripes go away and gave me a contented sigh as I finished a strangely rewarding experience.


Posted by on 28/10/2014 in Horror


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32 responses to “Crabs: The Human Sacrifice – Guy N. Smith

  1. shadowoperator

    28/10/2014 at 17:32

    I hope I’m not bursting your bubble, but it sounds as if Guy N. Smith owes a literary debt to a much more literary (but still sci-fi) genius, China Mieville and his “Kraken.” I was mid-way through the book, when my online library site had something happen to it, and sadly now I have to read only books that take an inordinately long time to come through the interlibrary loan system physically, and that necessitate a bus ride to and fro to pick them up. Otherwise, I would’ve had “Kraken” as one of my Halloween posts. The kraken in his book is a giant squid, and there is a giant squid cult worshipping it, but it isn’t of the “B” category. I’m not trying to dissuade you from your killer crabs, but give “Kraken” a read. Mieville is a genius, there’s no doubt of it, and a master in this particular book (or what I had finished of it).


    • Ste J

      28/10/2014 at 21:08

      Libraries are always ponderous when it comes to books you want and I have noticed if you ever in the mood for a series of books, book 1 is never available, strange that. You have mentioned Mieville to me before and I am looking forward to grabbing a load. The crabs are a mere diversion from good literature, a change is good but recommendations are even better!


  2. Morgan

    28/10/2014 at 17:41

    All I can say is YIPE!


    • Ste J

      28/10/2014 at 20:50

      Why these aren’t in the classics section I will never know!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Morgan

        29/10/2014 at 13:16

        this might have something to do with the errant twist of your mind 😉


  3. Letizia

    28/10/2014 at 19:29

    Okay, I LOVE the cover of this book, especially the font used!


    • Ste J

      28/10/2014 at 20:45

      It’s almost the cliché horror font which suits the type of book it is perfectly. I would defy anybody to pass this by in a bookshop without picking it up.


  4. Lyn

    28/10/2014 at 19:54

    Hmmm, think I’m going to give this one a miss 😀 But, if you really are interested in getting a copy of Crabs on the Rampage, check this out… I’ve usually been able to get “difficult to find” books from here.


    • Ste J

      28/10/2014 at 20:46

      Thank you very much, I found the four books of the series I have on the market for £3 and I am a completest so I will favourite that site post haste.


  5. Tom Gething

    28/10/2014 at 22:05

    I’ve always viewed crabs with great suspicion. Now I know why.


    • Ste J

      29/10/2014 at 17:52

      These books do reaise a cautionary tale of crabs gone mad and big. Truly terrifying.


  6. Sherri

    28/10/2014 at 23:14

    There I thought I knew every horror genre…and then there were killer man-eating crabs. This sounds absolutely hilarious. I doubt I would ever read it, but then again…the wonderful cover is worth a good look for one thing. Love your review, you could write a book made up of your reviews alone 🙂


    • Ste J

      29/10/2014 at 18:01

      I am quite critical of this review, I should have rewritten it but time was against me and so it came out like this. Perhaps I am too critical, it is good that you enjoyed it nonetheless. For light (and quick) refreshment this is just the ticket and did have me laughing at the serious bits. It’s very contemporary in a 50’s B-movie kind of way.


      • Sherri

        30/10/2014 at 14:24

        I really enjoyed it…you are being too critical Ste…but then I’m a fine one to talk, I am that way with everything I write…and a book that has you laughing at the serious bits sounds like wonderful entertainment…those old B movies are hilarious…


        • Ste J

          30/10/2014 at 20:04

          YouTube has so many B-Movies that I will never run out of great stuff to watch! We are perhaps overly critical on ourselves but it pushes us to do better so it is not a bad thing although we need to give ourselves a break, at least a break for a nice alcoholic beverage, or probably a hot chocolate is more apt.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Sherri

            30/10/2014 at 22:55

            Hot chocolate about now sounds perfect 🙂


  7. gargoylebruce

    29/10/2014 at 04:40

    Wouldn’t want to get in the way of those cultists. They sound like a crabby bunch, Puns aside, this could well be the best thing ever written and I’m glad the author took the time to make it exist.


  8. gargoylebruce

    29/10/2014 at 04:44

    Oh poo, I’ve just thought of a marginally better pun I could’ve used. Imagine I had said this: Between the crabs and the cultists, it looks like the humans are caught in some kind of pincer move! Yep, that one is a much more cracking gag. I’m so glad I came out of my shell enough to include it.


    • Ste J

      29/10/2014 at 18:06

      Well those puns have truly scuttled my attempts at anything humorous, how shellfish! Reading the crabs books really do make me feel truly happy, like discovering El Dorado but better.


      • gargoylebruce

        30/10/2014 at 06:47

        It took me two readings to get the scuttled one. Well done sir.


  9. Al

    29/10/2014 at 16:03

    I always used to love books that would feature creatures that kill. The Rats, Lair, Domain, Slugs, Worms. I may have to give this one a go as well, but I have never read a Guy Smith book.


    • Ste J

      29/10/2014 at 17:40

      They are an amusing bunch of books, I need to check out The Rats, I have it somewhere. Nothing beats those slugs from The Green Death, classic Who at its cheesiest but finest.


      • Al

        29/10/2014 at 20:17

        Haha yes. The Rats was Herbert’s first book, and the follow ups great, but Domain – that was a masterpiece. So much hell in that


  10. nancyrae4

    30/10/2014 at 00:50

    This sounds like perfect escapist reading!!


    • Ste J

      30/10/2014 at 20:06

      It has everything, comedy (intentional and otherwise), sex, horror and my all time favourite thing, the blatant themes that are so heaviy signposted they conversely become easy to ignore.


  11. Alastair Savage

    30/10/2014 at 14:10

    Respect to the publishers for putting a large crustacean on the cover wielding a sword, rather than a gratuitous image featuring naked sacrificial victims. They clearly knew that their readers were more interested in the shellfish. Many others would not have taken such a highbrow approach.


    • Ste J

      30/10/2014 at 20:08

      Why the crab has a sword I do not know as they don’t need one. The naked lady cover had already been done by this point so they were probably struggling. I would love to know if anybody did pick this up thinking it could be proper literature, I would love to meet that person haha.


      • Alastair Savage

        31/10/2014 at 07:13

        Good point – crabs don’t need swords at all. The editor took his off the ball there. That is, if the editor could bear to actually read this stuff for the umpteenth time…
        I love your reviews of the crabs!


        • Ste J

          02/11/2014 at 18:33

          Editor may be a bit optimistic. I will try and find the rest of the series as well, having said that the author has written over 500 books apparently, in the genres of horror, westerns and erotica, it’s a great mix.



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