End Of Part Two, Part One

13 Jan

Wool, ewe won’t baalieve the shear amazement when I saw the herd flocking for the new issue of Sheep! I particularly like the exclamation mark, making the magazine seem jaunty as opposed to dyed in the wool seriousness.

It’s full circle as I have returned to England but I didn’t really notice the closing to of said shape until the airport started to become ghostly.

I’m getting my thoughts muddled up already though so I will begin at the beginning, which was the end of my original journey, so really I will start at the end, the other end that is…depending on which ends point of view, you may be considering yourself.

Climbing to whatever thousand feet it is in these cases, I threw myself into a book in order to not ruminate to deeply on leaving the US or Christina, Penny and the family.  The book – A Christmas present from Nottingham based goodest friend Tom – called the Disaster Artist will have a review coming up soon so stand by for that.

The guy next to me probably couldn’t work out if I was crying with laughter or the other as we flew into Minneapolis, which was snow-covered but still couldn’t shake that depressing look of a bored tortoise.

So there I am, by now reaching hour seven of my wait for my nine hour wait for a seven and a half hour flight to London.  That’s when it really occurs that it is I am at degree 360 of the curved thing I mentioned earlier. I couldn’t read or sit any longer, food had been eaten, I’d even been asked three times in five minutes by the angry lady in the bookshop if I needed help – to which I was tempted to reply Don’t you know who I am? and mention the blog and seem all high brow but didn’t because I am nice and didn’t want to get beaten up.

Doing laps around the medium-sized airport was my only option, as well as looking at the departures board, with its slowly dwindling number of planes. When people watching in a terminal becomes spot the passenger you know you are at the end of the day and with the quiet murmurings and lack of lighting this is when I am most content – not to be waiting – to be taking in the whole building not just a sea of people.  It is peaceful and it is warming to know that most people are travelling home…it’s quite a bit of inner peace and the good kind of melancholy for me.

when the time finally arrived for us to embark on our flight I was happy to have staved off the boredom of the airport until the journey ahead of me loomed up…but i will post about the second half of my return next time…and the sadistic of you will be mightily relieved to know that it gets a lot worse than this.


Posted by on 13/01/2014 in USAdventure


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21 responses to “End Of Part Two, Part One

  1. shiningstar85

    13/01/2014 at 17:26

    What I used to like about bookshops was spending loads of time in them. Apparently they dont like u hanging around and handling items in shops in Europe but seems not in some english places either. Were they ok about it in the u.s.?

    Have you lost weight? Do u watch have I got news for you? They always put a magazine on a very specific topic like that at the end.
    P.s how many puns can u put in a sentence?!


    • Ste J

      13/01/2014 at 17:33

      Puns? What puns?

      The US shops are great for letting you read books with a coffee and not even buy if you don’t wish…it’s refreshing but the airports are always awkward because they seem to expect you to buy straight away, no wonder the shops are always empty. If the woman thought I had to clue it was because I was hunting through all the bestsellers for something substantial. Never mind, I came back with three books so it didn’t matter.

      I never pay any attention to me so perhaps I have lost weight…I’m clueless. I did think about Have I Got News For You when I saw it. Maybe next time I will send one over to the UK for your amusement.


  2. Al

    13/01/2014 at 20:01

    “Don’t you know who I am?”
    Should I?
    “Have you heard of Book to the Future?”
    Oh my, it’s you! Have these books at free plus $3 back


    • Ste J

      13/01/2014 at 20:31

      Maybe I should try that on the off chance haha! I’d take a fair few books with me…they can put on an extra plane for me as all those books and my new found ego would be to much for a normal airliner.


  3. gargoylebruce

    13/01/2014 at 21:21

    I don’t want to LAMB-ast your your post, but you forgot a sheepy pun, you dag!(Or is dag too specifically Australian an insult to be included in international bloggery?)


    • Ste J

      14/01/2014 at 19:21

      We of the Britain are familiar with the word ‘dag’ from your flagship soap opera Neighbours which is still as cringeworthy these days as it was when I was watching it at 8 years old. I also enjoyed the term ‘rack off’ which never really caught on over here…I did use it once though.


      • gargoylebruce

        14/01/2014 at 21:37

        Rack off you dag! I’d forgotten rack off! It’s a great phrase – it can be imbued with the same venom as more swear-y phrases but doesn’t convey quite the same level of dislike, so it’s perfect for use on siblings, close friends and other minor dignitaries. The local pastor for instance.
        I’m re-adopting this one immediately! Although it probably never caught on over there because it would sound a bit odd in most of your accent variations.


  4. RoSy

    13/01/2014 at 23:45

    LMAO at the caption under your photo & the expression on your face!
    As for the post…Makes for a good story to tell. 😉
    Glad you had a safe trip back home. Maybe a bit too long – but safe.


    • Ste J

      14/01/2014 at 19:24

      A bit long is putting it in the mildest terms, I should be grateful though as it makes for an amusing blog post…I never got the correlation of do stuff and stuff happens to you before I started getting out (of the country).

      My facial expression is trying to convey a mild look of disbelief but also encouragement for people who make such magazines to carry on amusing all us shelf browsers.


  5. LuAnn

    14/01/2014 at 15:59

    Probably best that you haven’t been elevated to rock star status yet Ste J. How would you sit back and take in the mundane like you do if you forever had someone at your elbow waiting for an autograph? 😉


    • Ste J

      14/01/2014 at 19:18

      Well this is true, I’d rather be waiting in the wings..let someone else have the glory whilst I just wallow in my own awesomeness (and humbleness too!). I hate distractions, although I enjoy digressing muchly.


      • LuAnn

        15/01/2014 at 01:08

        Once the word gets out on the street about your awesomeness you will just have to buy some silly disguise so you can walk down the street without getting harassed by the paparazzi. Hmm, now what kind of disguise would Ste J choose I wonder? 😉


        • Ste J

          15/01/2014 at 16:44

          Well I think my disguise has to be between a monk’s habit and something with stockings and suspenders as I think my thighs are worth showing off.


          • LuAnn

            15/01/2014 at 18:45

            I will take the monk’s habit and you go for the stockings and suspenders. Perhaps you can show them off in your next vlog. 😉


            • Ste J

              15/01/2014 at 18:48

              Haha, that would make for a split in opinion lol. I best get saving up for that then…may need something to go with them though…and a warm room hehe.


              • LuAnn

                15/01/2014 at 18:49

                A warm room indeed. 😀


  6. thejerseygal®™

    16/01/2014 at 19:20

    Next time you fly anywhere, bring a surgical mask. Wear it at the airports and on the planes…people will let you be, so long as you don’t cough. That could get you kicked off a flight. The crummy battle axe in the bookstore expected to turn a profit as the rent at airports is high, but otherwise in a regular bookstore, sitting and reading without buying is totally fine.


    • Ste J

      19/01/2014 at 18:29

      I am sure your border control people would welcome a guy in a surgical mask into the US…I have a sneaky suspicion they distrust my beard to, although that is pure conjecture.

      The woman was sharp. It’s tough to find anything good at an airport without the hassle. You say it true, your bookshops are great, with all the sitting down and having a coffee and such like…that comes in very handy for whittling down the ‘must have’ pile.


      • thejerseygal®™

        20/01/2014 at 18:06

        Bookstores in England aren’t like that?

        And, um, hmmm, the beard? I suppose if you’ve got one, it’s facial profiling at its finest. We Americans see a dark haired person with a beard and do a double-take because of that 9/11 thingy. I’m all for beards. There’s a reality show I watch called “Duck Dynasty” and the guys all sport beards.


        • Ste J

          21/01/2014 at 14:58

          The big chain Waterstones has a coffee bar in it but most of the best bookstores are the second hand shops. They have all the really old books and are great, the smell is wonderful and I did miss that in America.

          I am debating whether to shave the beard off at some point but that is a future decision methinks…I have heard of Duck Dynasty, there was some controversy recently I believe…



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