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Remember Me?

05 Aug

Okay bear with me here, for the random and off the cuff machine has been gassed up and thoroughly oiled , so here I go:

Isn’t our capacity to forget a great thing to possess?  I don’t mean forced forgetting or anything like that, just the natural process of layering more information and thoughts over something or someone until you remember the subject years later with nary an emotional tinge.  Like backwards archaeology if you will.

Perhaps it will be a certain scent, a song, or maybe just the way the sunlight shines through the net curtain as a breeze gently moves it, that signals Summer is here again.  Whatever it is, we will be pulled into our minds eye straight away and taken back to a time when things were different and possibly rose-tinted…

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It’ll be at that point when a look of wistfulness comes across your face and then after situating yourself and musing for a while, you realise that there is nothing you can do, those days and experiences are long gone and there is no other option than to move on.  A feeling of powerlessness creeps in but also perhaps of peace…of letting something go and letting only the warm and blissful memories remain.

It can be a cosy thing to remember those people and times and the understandings you took from it all, how they shaped you in your new-found hindsight and how different it could all have been.  I get this sort of feeling a lot.  I suppose everyone does.

These days with people moving to the far ends of the Earth and communities evolving to be more like our wonderful WordPress example, than the towns and streets that used to make up the entire worlds of people.  Everyone move on at some stage, but it is always nice to think that sometimes they think of us as well and that perhaps we and they treasured it all whilst it lasted.

Recently my local pub shut down, yes another one, it was sad even though I didn’t know many people apart from the bar staff.  It was sad not to be seeing the familiar faces again, having that banter with the bar staff, not sitting at my regular table with my regular pint either.  Perhaps the pub will reopen with new management soon, maybe some of the regulars will go back but I don’t think I would go back in.  it just won’t be the same, perhaps I overly romantic about these things, or possibly just to dramatic.

Would meeting these people who occasionally cross our minds, be the same?  No it wouldn’t in all probability, we’d chat about the old times, laugh and reminisce, promise to keep in touch but both of us would know we wouldn’t.  The only thing to do, I guess, would be to keep working at those amazing friendships you have, never let them wane no matter the distance…if they do, well….you tried and had good times and there will be no regrets about that, just great memories.

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64 Comments

Posted by on 05/08/2013 in Life

 

Tags: , , , , ,

64 responses to “Remember Me?

  1. In Her Words Avenue

    05/08/2013 at 17:56

    I love this, great post! my favorite line “but it is always nice to think that sometimes they think of us as well and that perhaps we and they treasured it all whilst it lasted..” totally relate!

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    • Ste J

      05/08/2013 at 18:06

      Thanks, my melancholy side came to the fore for a bit so I thought I would meet it head on for a change. How we humans stay sane with all these thoughts we have is beyond me.

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  2. RoSy

    06/08/2013 at 02:05

    Oh the people, events, & experiences that come & go throughout or lives.
    The stuff memories are made of.
    I’ll keep the good ones & throw the bad ones in the basement & lock the door.

    Great post – I like this different twist to your blog!

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 17:51

      Lock the door and then I’ll help you to brick it up. I’m nice like that and maybe a dab hand with a trawl, you never know.

      I shall continue evolving my style my friend, I do like to keep it interesting.

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  3. gargoylebruce

    06/08/2013 at 02:38

    My fledgling owner feels the same about our particular Aldi. You’ve also stirred up some memories for Mad Martha – she happened to be visiting the UK for the first time during the period when Woolworths had gone bust and all the shops were selling off everything including shop fittings….she says it was quite poignant, seeing the same situation repeated over and over through each particular place she moved through…locals mourning the loss of their friendly neighbourhood Woolies staff….

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 17:56

      That was a torrid time, the death knell of the 10p mix. It just isn’t the same these days without that cheap but cheerful shop. I hadn’t considered places so much when I wrote this…perhaps that’ll be another blog post.

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  4. sakuraandme

    06/08/2013 at 07:00

    Afternoon from the magical land of Oz! Lol
    🙂

    I’m kind of like you…creature of habit! I know change is good etc etc, but I hate it! LMAO

    I buy the same brands of food, hate driving into unknown territory. You get the message! Lol

    I meet old aquaintances and so do what you said!! Lol As for drinking? I can do that anywhere! 🙂

    Hugs Paula xxx

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 17:59

      Haha, I hear you on the drinking my friend. I hate change as well, there is no need for it really. Having said that though without the plan to go to America and then the execution of said plan, I wouldn’t have the confidence as a person or a writer, that I have now. It’s all swings and roundabouts…if you have that phrase over your way? x

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      • sakuraandme

        07/08/2013 at 20:52

        I love that phrase! Maybe because I’m childish at 45. Lol 🙂

        Hope you got to bed… if not? Stop writing and go to sleep. Lol xx

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        • Ste J

          07/08/2013 at 20:55

          I will be going in a bit I promise, I have six more blogs to visit and then I will be going to sleep…I need my beauty sleep STAT! Lol. x

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          • sakuraandme

            08/08/2013 at 02:21

            Good night! And I gave you a choice between ginger nut biscuit or mint chocolate biscuit?

            I had ginger nut. 🙂 xx

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            • Ste J

              08/08/2013 at 18:13

              Good choice, I would have gone for that as well, for some reason mint and chocolate combined makes me suspicious. x

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  5. Claire 'Word by Word'

    06/08/2013 at 07:14

    Thoughts are like flowers in bloom and just like flowers, we watch them and then pass them by knowing they’ll come back eventually, we stay sane by not attaching ourselves to them, just observing them awhile and then letting them go. 🙂 Just like many of the people we come into contact over the years, what is it that’s said, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime 🙂

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:02

      I had never heard that phrase, I am hoping all of my blogger friends are in it with me for a life time. I love that likening, flowers is a clever object of focus. Sometimes though I wonder if the word sane is a good thing…it is debatable, lol.

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  6. Christina ~

    06/08/2013 at 07:23

    Melancholy Existentialism….you have asked an intriguing question and indeed answered succinctly…

    “The only thing to do, I guess, would be to keep working at those amazing friendships you have, never let them wane no matter the distance…if they do, well….you tried and had good times and there will be no regrets about that, just great memories.”

    Thank you for sharing these evocative thoughts…the photo you’ve chosen is a sublime companion to your words making them even more….compelling… xxxxx

    Like

     
    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:13

      It was a photo that just seemed perfect, all other possible choices were deleted after I saw that. I am happy you put up with my musings, I do go off on tangents…especially when we Gtalk lol. You’re great! xxxxx

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      • Christina ~

        09/08/2013 at 07:05

        Agreed…that is a perfect photo! You know I love to read/listen to you ramble…it’s always illuminating…to say the least… xxxxx

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        • Ste J

          09/08/2013 at 12:36

          Then I shall prepare a discourse on gravel pavements (sidewalks) of the world for your enjoyment(?), see how long it takes you to rescind that comment. Haha! xxxxx

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  7. Asha

    06/08/2013 at 08:49

    “never let them wane no matter the distance…if they do, well….you tried and had good times and there will be no regrets about that, just great memories.” – yeah that’s my favorite bit, of course, first being YOU.
    I miss the library that shut years ago. They were going to move it to another place where they expected a lot more crowd to pool in the paradise. But I guess, better it didn’t restart. It’d never be the same. One thing good though, the librarian was a real laze-bag, I so hated her.
    I am such a sticker for nostalgic posts like these as you know. This is going to be the setting for my next post, if possibly you let me build ahead on the muse.

    How’ve you been, J? And whats the ‘Lost Rapture’ like?

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:41

      Yup, the YOU is personal and it is for once all about the each one of us and we should always be happy in ourselves, no regrets and plenty of high fives. I look forward to your post, nostalgia is fun, I love to wallow in it sometimes, I do enjoy your words…and possibly your socks, not that I have seen them.

      My local library is where people go to keep warm or kill some time on the computers but less and less to just read for the pleasure of it. it disappoints me but I guess people don’t have the best attention spans these days. It’s sad when they shut or the books get marginalised…that is sad nostalgia…I’m emotional now.

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  8. Letizia

    06/08/2013 at 15:41

    You’re so right, there’s something very beautiful in letting go, in letting things be a part of the past. What a beautifully written piece.

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:04

      I am glad you approve, you are one of the core bloggers who have inspired me to write posts like this. Letting go is scary but also liberating, it is a strange balance.

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      • Letizia

        07/08/2013 at 18:32

        You’re so right, it’s scary but liberating. You hit the nail on the head with that one!

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  9. anna amundsen

    06/08/2013 at 15:48

    I agree with you here. There’s no point in losing oneself in past. Things happen, bad or good; it’s important to learn / enjoy while they last, and to give your best when you feel like it. Same with people – not every relationship is supposed to be a lifelong friendship. It is as it should be.. Wonder if you saw “Waking Life”, directed by Richard Linklater.. Beautifully philosophical movie.

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:25

      I haven’t seen that but I will hunt it out, I do love a bit of philosophy. I suppose the moral of the story, or life as some people call it, is just to get on with it and don’t over think it…which is what all us ‘cool kids’ do.

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      • anna amundsen

        09/08/2013 at 21:46

        Hmm.. I’m not sure I am not over thinking it, really.. However, I’m sure I’m not over thinking things that don’t matter, or things that are just the way they are and cannot be changed. Over thinking those is certainly not a way to gain coolness, you will agree.. If you ever see the movie, let me know since I’m interested to hear your thoughts about it..

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        • Ste J

          11/08/2013 at 08:41

          Over thinking, if you are over thinking, I like that…

          Like

           
  10. Chelsea Brown19

    06/08/2013 at 17:37

    This post reminds me of my hometown and how much I miss it, but there’s always the great and fond memories.
    After all we can’t go back only forward.

    Like

     
    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:06

      I wonder if this post is a projection of how I will now, in the far future…a coming to terms sort of thingy. I am glad i could fashion my words into something resonating for you my friend.

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  11. Theresa

    06/08/2013 at 18:01

    Such a thoughtful post… To take special moments, brought back into focus by some random happening, and to polish their treasured memories – you’re right, this can be a beautiful thing.

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:28

      Musing on happy things is wonderful and I appreciate your lovely words. It would be wonderful to keep all those wonderful people with us throughout life but then it wouldn’t be real life, I suppose…

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  12. Jennifer Smith

    06/08/2013 at 22:54

    I love this! I can totally relate and feel at a complete loss without my fix of friendly faces. It makes me feel sad that you (probably quite rightly) say that things won’t be the same again. It’s probably really sad of me to hope that it could, but I do. I too have fleeting thoughts of folk and miss a lot of people dearly. Some of them I’ll probably never see again. I wish I hadn’t lost touch with so many people. It did happen so quickly, it was like the rug being pulled from under our feet and I should have put more effort in with a lot of people dearly(you included). I hope you can come to Kev’s Quiz Night. Would be great to see you 🙂

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:10

      Perhaps we should start finding people again, starting with each other! It did go quickly, The Mill, life, it’s all just to fast and overwhelming. we shall find hope and demand catch ups with people. Anything is possible, this is my new motto. When is Kev’s Quiz Night going on? I will come down for a bit and demand a high five. x

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      • Jennifer Smith

        07/08/2013 at 18:59

        Thursday, August 15, 2013 – You should see an invite on your Facebook Events 🙂 Hope to see you there. Demand the guys attend, Finn, Viza, etc. xx

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        • Ste J

          07/08/2013 at 19:05

          I have so many Facebook events I really need to look at some, thanks for letting me know. Viza is I believe in Poland these days, or Manchester, I shall send a few texts and hope my money holds out for that as well as Friday’s rum do. xx

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  13. Robyn Lee

    07/08/2013 at 03:56

    Yes, excellent post! I do think we are ‘hard-wired’ in some ways — we process these subtle moments, and might forget them for now — but then a sound, or a scent or whatever trigger it may be can easily bring it all back… I like to hope we do all touch each other’s lives in these quiet but profound ways… I’m not sure you should avoid the new pub if it reopens… it may promise new adventures~ 🙂
    Sending good thoughts (and memories) your way dear Ste J~
    x RL

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:17

      Ha! I do love your subtle way to allow me the odd pint without feeling guilty. I would say, with some bias that these blogs affect in profound ways, they have mine…a lot. Our memories are wonderful things to dredge up those awesome memories from under the pile of less exceptional memories. As ever my friend…stay awesome and take care. xx

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  14. LuAnn

    07/08/2013 at 13:28

    A most amazing, wistful post Ste J. I love the direction your writing is taking you. 🙂

    Like

     
    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 18:19

      It is new ground for me, I am still tentative about it all but your words do encourage me greatly.

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      • LuAnn

        07/08/2013 at 20:32

        It may seem like new ground to you but I believe you may have walked this path before…perhaps in another life? You are a natural. 🙂

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        • Ste J

          07/08/2013 at 20:40

          I put it down to my incessant thinking, although I like to think I have a spirit guide like those native Americans do…probably mine would be a ferret, lol.

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          • LuAnn

            07/08/2013 at 20:44

            I wish my friend Barb were still here. She was so in touch with the Native American spirits. She went into a Native American store once and had the clerk take out every last carved stone totem they had so she could hold each one in her hand and tell me what my totem was. Everyone she met was so drawn to her that of course they complied with her wish. As I write this I am beginning to see a post in my future. 😉

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            • Ste J

              07/08/2013 at 20:54

              Yes! Music to my ears, I love your words and they always fascinate and intrigue. You know the bestest people and I bet you have crazy socks as well.

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              • LuAnn

                07/08/2013 at 21:01

                Wow. I cannot explain the feeling that went through me when you mentioned my crazy socks. When my beloved friend Barb passed away, her husband (also my friend) insisted that I take some of Barb’s things. I received some beautiful Native American jewelry and some lovely clothing. When he asked me what else he could give me, I said “I want some of her socks”. They are crazy-colored socks and I feel so close to her whenever I slip them on. 🙂

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                • Ste J

                  07/08/2013 at 21:11

                  How intriguing that that would be the first random thing that slipped into my mind…this life is indeed strange and eye opening. Which coincidentally is what I look like and what I do in a morning.

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  15. readinpleasure

    07/08/2013 at 18:37

    I get what you mean, Ste J. It’s never the same without that familiarity. I will be moving house next month, to our own home and though this is super, the thought of not seeing the familiar in the old neighbourhood dismays me sometimes. 🙂

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    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 19:07

      I hope you get to potter back to your old neighbourhood and reminisce sometime. I wish you an easy and non stressful move and that you send all us bloggers an invite for the house warming!

      Like

       
  16. Elizabeth Melton Parsons

    07/08/2013 at 21:06

    With so many comments I’m sure anything I say will simply be a repeat, so I’ll just say I love that picture. 🙂

    Like

     
    • Ste J

      07/08/2013 at 21:17

      Sometimes you just come across a picture that is perfect, this is one of the few I have come across…I am glad you like it.

      Like

       
  17. thejerseygal®™

    07/08/2013 at 22:05

    If only we could have our minds erased of the people, places, and things that remind us that those people, places, and things do not exist for us anymore.
    You have a way of making me examine the deep recesses of my mind…and perhaps, my heart.

    I enjoyed this piece very much.

    Like

     
    • Ste J

      08/08/2013 at 18:26

      it would be great to selectively delete memories of a sad or redundant nature. It all sounds a bit Sci-Fi…I like that idea.

      I’m glad you like my meanderings of the mind. it’s a fantastic thought to know that I can get you considering things of the mind and heart. My head feels all syrupy today…I would only be able to produce pictures of elastic bands if I were to post today lol.

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      • thejerseygal®™

        09/08/2013 at 10:52

        Why does yout head feel syrupy today?
        That’s sort of how I felt yesterday becauses I hadn’t eaten in 2 days…nerves got the best of me. Plus allergies. Never fun.

        Your blog is quite entertaining. And there’s so much to ponder about in your pieces that aren’t book reviews….I enjoy that, as it helps explain the reviwer.

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        • Ste J

          09/08/2013 at 12:43

          Please don’t say you are analysing me through my words lol. You may come to some decisions about me being unhinged or something…it’s good to be open and show people the real us on here. It beats TV hands down.

          I was a bit slow that day in my mind…you must eat though…as one who doesn’t eat as much as I am told I should, I wouldn’t want you to take ill.

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          • thejerseygal®™

            09/08/2013 at 15:45

            I try to find the real you through your posts. I really enjoy the personality the shines through the words.

            When I am nervous or upset, I can’t eat. I’m a bit better today. I am quite sensitive and fragile and my son has been going through stomach issues that have me a bit nervous.

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            • Ste J

              11/08/2013 at 08:24

              Well as long as you keep feeling better then I will be happy. I hope your son is feeling better soon, if not already.

              I think not only do other people find me, but I find myself, it’s very therapeutic, this writing malarkey.

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              • thejerseygal®™

                12/08/2013 at 11:28

                Thank you. I think writing is cathartic, but isn’t doing anything you enjoy?
                It’s going to take some time before getting to the bottom of my son’s problem. I’ve gone from not eating to migranes in a matter of days, the last month or so. I sometimes think I wasn’t cut out for this motherhood gig, but seeing them smile changes that thought.

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                • Ste J

                  12/08/2013 at 17:44

                  I hear the smiles makes it all worth it. I think I reach perfect catharsis whilst holed up somewhere quiet with nothing on my mind…so that’s a challenge most of the time!

                  Like

                   

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