Constitutionally circumcised as our beneficent country has recently now become, it is my great honour to present to you, our Glorious Leader, a man who towers above politics and religion (for he has abolished them). A man full of verve, utterly becoming of a driven über capitalist.
Here today issuing Proclamation 94 of the constitution (another one, not the abolished one) we are proud to announce that all people, property, national pride and culture &c, &c and now up for auction on a well-known auction site known around the world as Stebay.
with the proceeds our heroic and noble leader – may the Gods (not the outlawed ones some other non specified ones) shine on him always – will then be able to sun himself in the magisterial climes of Abu Dhabi and revel in the five-star magnificence that he (our sainted titan of a leader) will become accustomed too.
Once our illustrious county has been sold down to its very bedrock, those of you still unsold will have the overwhelming joy of seeing our chivalric commander-in-chief, leave in a partially fuelled decrepit Junkers 52 for sunnier climes as your auctions slowly tick to a close.
And from his lofty place in the heavens (not that heaven etc) and striking a stately pose will our sublime harbinger shall gaze across the fields of green, (not already sold) and exclaim “When I screw over my country, I do it blatantly and properly, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you western pretenders”.
So let the great Stebay auction of 2013 A.D (Absolute Domination) begin, thank you for your time, your moderate sacrifice will be noted in the Great Ledger of Martyrs, or at least would have been if Barre1_Face has not just won it for $0.89.